Spittin' Ain't Ladylike
by Ta1u1a
Summary: Response to the picfor1000 challenge on LJ. My picture of inspiration was of watermelon. Serenity takes on a cargo of interest to Kaylee. Set between end of series and the movie.


Fresh fruit was something mighty tough to come by in the outer reaches of the 'verse. Wasn't much a call for it from the folk out there, truth be told. Folks like them only cared about a good steak, a good whiskey, and a good tussle in the bunk with a lady or gent prettier than Jayne. Dependin' on who you ask--mostly anyone other than Jayne--those weren't high standards.

Taking all that in account, Mal knew his crew would be mighty surprised at what their next job involved and what kind of cargo they'd be taking on. But nobody's eyes grew quite as big as Kaylee's. She had an affection for fruit that Mal knew was only second to her affection for Serenity and keeping the old boat running--well, that and the young doctor. Might be a bit of hassle keeping her from digging into that cargo before they even hit atmo at Karon.

"Mal, they ain't gonna miss one little watermelon," he could hear her say with that annoyingly cheerful voice of hers and that face that made it damn near impossible to say no to.

But a job was a job. Whole crew knew that. If the coin they made from this kept his boat flying then Mal knew he had to put up with his mechanic pouting over some gorram fruit. He just hoped he didn't give in. No matter how much whingin' Kaylee did.

---

Kaylee remembered all the times she'd eaten watermelon--all two of 'em. She'd been a little girl and her favorite part had been spittin' the seeds as far as she could. She'd guess Simon would think that weren't ladylike. But her daddy had always said he weren't raisin' her to be no lady. Gift like hers, fixin' machinery and such, ain't somethin' to be wasted on pretty dresses and cleanin' house. As for the seed spittin' he'd set up two cans and told her to spit between 'em. Not often that he'd actually have fun with her that didn't involve workin' on some engine. She knew he'd secretly wished for a boy. She supposed he'd got the closest thing to it that he could get.

She'd ignored Jayne's protest of the job. Jayne argued any job if it didn't require him to bring guns along. Like they didn't get shot at enough, they couldn't take on a couple safe jobs. The danger they faced all the time was somethin' Kaylee could've lived without if it weren't for the fact she loved the gorram ship almost as much as Mal did. She'd like to not see Jayne's guns ever if they could manage without 'em.

All she could do while Mal tried to settle Jayne was think about the cool watermelon juice runnin' down her throat and holdin' the seeds with her tongue to spit down the table. Surely keepin' one watermelon for herself--and the rest of the crew--wouldn't hurt none.

---

They'd had the melons no more than a couple hours before Mal cracked. Kaylee snatched up the best-looking one of the bunch while Mal griped about how he hoped their buyer didn't think to count the melons before they were well on their way.

Everyone took a slice as Kaylee cut 'em off. When Simon and River came to the dining area, Kaylee happily offered the doc a slice.

"No, thank you," he declined. "I'm allergic to watermelon. It gives me hives." He made a disgusted face that like to nearly break Kaylee's heart. Then he gestured to his sister with his usual affectionate smile reserved only for her. "But if I remember correctly, River does enjoy it. She used to spit the seeds at me. She knew how it annoyed me."

After River got her slice, the siblings sat with the others at the table. Kaylee remained standing. She swallowed the seeds.

---

Later Kaylee was talking to Inara in her shuttle. They were coming near Karon and Inara had just booked a client, not an easy task near a rock like the one they were coming to.

"Sometimes I wish I could be like you 'nara," she mused while Inara brushed through the mechanic's hair. "If I was more like you, all pretty and ladylike, maybe Simon would actually notice me."

"If Simon was looking for a lady, don't you think he'd have one by now? He held a very respectable post before he became a fugitive. Any _lady_ would have been easy to come by on the inner planets," Inara said with a raised eyebrow. "I know men Kaylee. I was trained to know men. Simon notices you."

"Then why don't he say somethin' to me? Somethin' that means somethin' anyways."

Inara thought on that for a moment, thinking of her own personal issue of a similar ilk. She supposed she was just as guilty as Mal for the awkwardness between them. Unlike Kaylee, she made no clear advances that any idiot half as intelligent as Jayne could see if he paid close enough attention. She knew how she felt for Mal, and she knew how he felt for her. It was just as plain to the crew. Her career seemed to be the problem. Mal couldn't abide a whore, and she couldn't abide someone who called her such. She was a respectable person in society, unlike Mal. Without her status as companion, the captain and his crew would have been lost long ago. Yet, she was torn between keeping that status and actually acting on her heart, much like she knew Simon was torn between caring for River unconditionally and acting on his heart.

"While I may know men, Kaylee. Why anyone does or doesn't do something is a mystery I will _never_ know."

FIN


End file.
